Hey Candidate Boy

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer) 06/08/2018 at 20:41 • Filed to: None

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Make me your transport secretary!

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on Wednesday when you came to my university and I asked if you would implement a congestion charge in certain areas of Mexico City.

You answered back saying “Oh, I did not think about that...” To an staggering amount of surprise and applause of the public that was already fucking tired of trolls asking whether you’re a Priista or not.

Look, Mrs. Boy; I don’t give a shit about your party affiliation, you’re a former congresswoman and leading executive in both Greenpeace, and Mexico’s SEMARNAT (EPA). What I do care about is that you’re polling at 3% anyway, and somehow even though you’re a part of a “green” party that is in favor of the Death Penalty and also legalized hydraulic fracturing you seem to be the least stupid choice for the next Mayor of the city.

Yet you have no real transportation policy, sure! You want to increase spending in infrastructure, but unlike Alejandra Barrales and Claudia Shienbaoum, you don’t have a clear plan. Come on, who better than a 20 year old that doesn’t know how to do his hair as your transport secretary? I have experience shitposting on the internet and also solving complex transit infrastructure in Cities Skylines. Come on, most of our issues are solved by plowing 5 neighborhoods to make a new tram line!

I promise the following:

I will create a GNSS pricing system for Mexico City which will make you unelectable for the rest of your career!
I will LS swap Metrobuses so that the average speed rises from 30km/h to 100km/h!
I will create a new Uber-like app for the city’s taxis and then ban Uber and Lyft because it’s what the cool kids in Europe do.

I will turn the transit police into a shady organization that will investigate the secrete Chinese mafia, arrest corrupt politicians, and serve death sentences to those who dare park next to me and ding my door start doing their job and charge more traffic tickets.
I will also make invalid everysingle “Type A” driver’s licenses because we’re still not forced to take a driving exam and import a lot of swedes to teach us car control, that way Mexico City will turn into a literal gymkhana but at least people will know how roundabouts work!

I will also turn speed cameras 180 degrees and post the picture of the infractoring drivers to facebook, photoshop to make it look as if they’re doing something disgusting like digging their noses or driving a Pontiak Aztek.

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat 06/08/2018 at 21:14

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Counterpoint: she’s very cute, and you should just shut up and vote for her.

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove 06/08/2018 at 21:15

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Oh, you have to see her instagram.

if there was ever a definition for “mirreyna” she’d be exactly that!

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat 06/08/2018 at 21:34

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I don’t know that word, but I’ll be checking it out after my wife goes to bed.

For Sweden > Spanfeller is a twat 06/08/2018 at 21:34

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Look Mexico, the USA elected Donald Trump and Ontario elected Doug Ford. Join the club and elect an old male right-wing populist with a name that starts with D.

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove 06/08/2018 at 21:36

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Its the Mexican equivalent of “ur such a white girl”

Spanfeller is a twat > For Sweden 06/08/2018 at 21:40

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Well, in a historic election where 5 out of 7 candidates are women, and for the majority of the pre campaign and campaign two women polled the highest, we’re seeing major gains by the anti-gay, anti-abortion, pro minimum sentencing laws candidate called Mikel Arriola... he’s already second place, so who knows... maybe we’re so thirsty for anti-establishment that we elect this piece of shit.

I actually appeared in the news amongst the crowd of students that protested his presence at our school.

punkgoose17 > For Sweden 06/08/2018 at 21:59

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The European populist is so drastically different from the American populist it is really confusing https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/People’s_Party_(United_States)

punkgoose17 > Spanfeller is a twat 06/08/2018 at 22:00

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You should run. You are more politically aware and intelligent than most people in my country.

Spanfeller is a twat > punkgoose17 06/08/2018 at 22:04

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I need to convince 120,000 people to sign a petition or dilute my principals and join a political party. Either way... I would actually enforce GNSS road pricing; but it wouldn’t be popular.

Politicians tend to spoil people because they make some unreasonable people think that they should continue being unreasonable (Looking at you, Joe The Plumber)